Pen & Paper Bullshit
No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go Episode IX

No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go Episode IX

January 2, 2019

It has all been leading up to this, all the hours of training and adventuring, all to topple the terrible kobold regime that has taken over Swatcherland! The Heroes of Green Hills must pit themselves against the Champions of Temperance in this all out grudge match! Who will win? Who will die? Will Susie get the sweet, sweet revenge she deserves for what the kobolds done did to her pa and his farm? Will Reginald smite the heathen before him and bring them low? Will Acid Rain's insane quest to save the environment finally see its end? And just who are these people and what happened to our good kobold boys?

All this and more will be answered in this, the final episode of To Koboldy Go!

No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go Episode VIII

No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go Episode VIII

December 19, 2018

The Champions of Temperance have had enough of Swatcherland's shit and decide its time for a proper crusade against their long hated enemies; the kobolds of Temperance and their frog allies are rallied with a singular goal in mind - the complete and total destruction of the Dairy King of Swatcherland, Wiz Consson. The kobolds are on the move and no one is safe from their divine wrath, not even a divinely appointed monarch, in this, the penultimate episode of To Koboldly Go!

No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go Episode VII

No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go Episode VII

November 7, 2018

The Champions of Temperance set out to steal the holiest text of the Church of the Large Scorpion God, the rival of the kobold led Church of the Larger Scorpion God. The Champions give the Croak-Atians a taste of that old time religion.

No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go Episode VI

No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go Episode VI

October 24, 2018

The Champions of Temperance, backed by the Church of the Larger Scorpion Gods, decide its time to show the other nations what they're capable of by creating a horrible, blasphemous artifact; the first step is to acquire some refined and processed etherium from Freedonia. A daring heist is carefully planned to break into Freedonia's most important bank: Mt. Gox; will the Champions survive their encounter with libertarian economics and blockchain technology?

No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go Episode V

No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go Episode V

September 26, 2018

The Creed of the Church of the Larger Scorpion Gods, as set down by the 1st Council of Temperance.

I Believe there are three Larger Scorpion Gods, which are: One Good, Maker of all things unseen and invisible; one Evil, Maker of all things visible and corrput; the Large Scorpion, Maker of Swamp and Earth, of all things visible and invisible.

I believe in One Lord, Magyie Magyck, foremost Prophet of God, fully Divine and Truly God, being of different substance but having the same will as the Father Scorpion, Monothelite Being of similar substance to the Father Scropion; who appeared as a kobold, born of the Encylopaedioff Clan, was martyred under Sir Turbuthy; she substituted the Wrong-does upon the battlefield, and in so doing, escaped death. She is said to have become scorpions on the third day, showing that the dead shall indeed be turned into piles of deadly scorpions.

I believe in the Holy Scorpion Spirit, the Larger Scorpion, the Giver of Poisons, Who proceeds from the Father Scorpion, with Whom She will be reunited.

The dead shall be raised as scorpions, not in spirit.

No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go Episode IV

No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go Episode IV

September 12, 2018

The Champions of Temperance prepare to enter the world of equine magicks, in an effort to "improve" their horses. Things go about as well as expected.

No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go Episode III

No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go Episode III

August 29, 2018

The kobold cavalry are demanding armor for their fine new steeds, so the Champions of Temperance set off to the swampy lands known as the Holy Country of Croak-Atia, where the frogmen are friendly and also want to rub themselves in kobold tears. This week, we learn the the stirring tale of Saint Dr. Doctor MD and the three brothers known as Timothy, Tomothy, and Turbuthy. Oh also maybe the Champions of Temperance start a religious war?

No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go Episode II

No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go Episode II

August 15, 2018

The kobolds of Temperance continue their fight against the herders of Swatcherland, this time by... summoning two wind elementals and having them fuck? If it that doesn't make sense without context, don't worry it doesn't make much sense in context either.

No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go Episode I

No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go Episode I

July 18, 2018

The champions of the kobold village of Temperance are strong! They're the greatest! Nothing can beat them! That's why they're tasked by the village elder Very Old Man to find some moonshine and cheese after a filthy herd of cows ate and drank all of the town's stockpiles! Very uncool! But that's okay, because the kobold champions will return victorious! They're the best! The greatest! The least likely to die!

No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go Village & Character Creation

No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go Village & Character Creation

July 6, 2018

The kobolds of Temperance are rude, crude, and have terrible attitudes, but its honestly not their fault! You'd be in a bad mood all the time if you were surrounded by awful jerks who want your land, tears, and spines! Kobold are the greatest! The kobolds of Temperance are even greater then normal kobolds! They're the greaterest! The champions of Temperance will boldly go where no kobold has gone before: outside of the village!