Pen & Paper Bullshit

No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go

January 28, 2019

No Country For Old Kobolds: To Koboldly Go

Kobolds, if you're even slightly familiar with fantasy role playing games, are sort of weird little lizard men that some tavern owner is likely to hire your level one adventurers to clear out from his cellar. They're silly, short lived, and not at all threatening; they're the minions of far greater powers, the real baddies of any good pen and paper campaign. They're nothing important, and easily forgotten. So what happens if you focus an entire game around them, their lives, and their children? You get No Country For Old Kobolds, a game about being a kobold, dying in increasingly stupid ways, and then playing your children.

The kobold village of Temperance has everything a kobold needs: meat holes, booze, and a tree; its not a bad life, but it could definitely be better. Enter the Champions of Temperance, a band of kobolds from the most influential families in the town, dead set on improving their lot in life. They answer the call of adventure, go forth, and almost immediately die. That's okay though, because their kids seem really into adventuring and stuff, so it should all work out, probably. Oh no, wait they've died too. Okay so now the grandkids should totally have this, absolutely ready to- ah shit not again. Get ready for one of the least serious campaigns produced by Pen & Paper Bullshit, where the characters really don't matter, but their legacy does.

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